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Between Us Parents http://betweenusparents.com A gathering place for moms & dads Mon, 18 Sep 2023 16:46:34 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 http://betweenusparents.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Screen-Shot-2016-03-16-at-3.44.31-PM-150x136.png Between Us Parents http://betweenusparents.com 32 32 Christmas Scavenger Hunt Clues http://betweenusparents.com/christmas-scavenger-hunt-clues-2019/ http://betweenusparents.com/christmas-scavenger-hunt-clues-2019/#respond Sun, 17 Sep 2023 05:13:00 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=10361 A beloved tradition in my family and for many Between Us Parents readers is the Christmas scavenger hunt. It’s a tradition started by my dad when my brother and I were little and it grew as we did. It’s a particularly fun activity for tweens and teens.

I have done it with my daughter and have been sharing our rhyming clues for many years now.

You can find more than 50 other clues from the prior six years of printable holiday scavenger hunts here.

Combine them for a longer expedition, or assign different clues to different kids or older family members. (Each hunt uses different locations around the home and all end under the Christmas tree.) There are lots of possibilities and you can be as creative as you like!

Here are this year’s Christmas scavenger hunt clues! You can download and print the clues or use the clues below to create your own. Answers to the rhymes can be found at the end of the post. Happy holidays and happy hunting!

Christmas Scavenger Hunt Clues

Your first clue is not obvious it is hidden beneath
That classic round decoration also known as a ______.

Around the Christmas tree all the fun people will be rocking
But you should go check where you hang your ________.

The elves work hard – all those presents are a lot to handle!
Light way to your goal when you look under a ______.

Scrooge is known for being cantankerous and saying “Bah humbug!”
Be merrier when searching under a cup for hot drinks, better known as a ___.

To Santa and Rudolph we give our greatest regards,
Find your next clue amid the regards folks sent your way by mail in the holiday  _____.

The children were nestled in their beds, nice and snug
Your next stop is on the floor under the covering also known as a ___.

Dasher, Dancer, and the rest of the reindeer are seasoned pros, not rookies.
Now go look by where we keep the treats we’ll leave for Santa, not milk but the _______.

Speaking of reindeer, NORAD tracks them as they travel through the airspace,
Seek your next clue in that item you take when you travel – your ________.

“‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” is a tale told in verse
Your next clue can be found under your mom’s _____.

The wise men brought gold, frankincense and myrrh – points for creativity
You may see them and your next clue in the representation of Jesus’ birth, the  ________.

You’ve looked high, you’ve looked low, on that we can agree,
Let’s wrap up this search – you’ll find what you seek under the Christmas ____.

Holiday Scavenger Hunt Answer Key

Wreath
Stocking
Candle
Mug
Cards
Rug
Cookies
Suitcase
Purse
Nativity
Tree

Prior Post: 8 Great new YA books to give to teens this holiday season

You May Also Like: Top gift ideas for teens & tweens,
The 12 Days of Christmas with teens
and
Fun family board games to play with teens and tweens

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14 Things to Love about Teens http://betweenusparents.com/14-things-to-love-about-teens/ http://betweenusparents.com/14-things-to-love-about-teens/#respond Tue, 14 Feb 2023 13:33:41 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=10441 Teenagers need a PR makeover. They have a bit of a bad rap. While adolescence is undoubtedly full of craziness, there are many things to love about teens. Here are 14 of my favorite things.

  1. Humor
    Teens can be hilarious. And their laughter is the best. We recently hosted 14 high school seniors for dinner in our basement before a school dance and hearing them crack each other up was delightful.

  2. Energy
    Between school, jobs, extracurriculars, volunteering, friends, and more, there are a lot of demands on their time and they so often rise to the challenge. They particularly have a lot of energy on the weekend for social activities. Do not, however, expect to see that energy right after you’ve asked them to do chores.

  3. Unique Perspective
    The saying “through the eyes of babes” could be retooled to be “through the eyes of teens” and it would still be very true. Our kids perceptions of the world can be insightful, thought provoking or just comical (see #1).

  4. Excitement and Hope for the Future
    Whether it’s college, trade school, the military or their first job, many teens are chomping at the bit to be in the world. They are fired up to see what the future holds for them and that enthusiasm can be contagious.

  5. Peeks into the Past
    As much as teens think they are ready to be adults, as parents we catch glimpses of the tiny creatures they used to be, ones who were completely dependent on us. Whether it’s a particular mannerism, how they sleep or an expression that crosses their face and then disappears, those reminders can simultaneously both fill and break our parental hearts.

  6. Ability to Learn
    Kids are sponges. That’s true when they’re little and still true as they get older. Whether it’s learning how to drive or a new piece of music or studying for a test, they are constantly taking on new information.

  7. Desire to See the World
    Teens can be great travelers. They are excited to visit new places and traveling together can be awesome. (Need ideas? Check out these trips to take with teens.)

  8. Ability to Run to the Store
    You’ve seen that meme that says the second part of your life begins when your kid has a drivers license and can pick up something you forgot at the grocery? It’s true.

  9. Digital Natives
    Dealing with technology is a layer of parenting that our parents didn’t have to address like we do, but it also means that we have other ways of connecting with our kids and connecting them with the world, and that can be pretty cool.

  10. Always Changing
    Don’t like your teen’s mood? Chances are it will change. Teens are ever evolving and that means their mood, their interests, their brain, their bodies – it’s all in a state of flux. While this is undoubtedly exhausting, it’s also a bit reassuring to know on the bad days that it won’t be like this forever.

  11. Independence = Time for You
    When they are able to do more themselves, you are able to do more for yourself. Given that teens require a great deal of parental energy, take advantage.

  12. Teens Keep You Current
    From the latest slang terms to performers at the Grammys, teens can help keep you up on the latest trends.

  13. They Will Always Be Our Babies
    Doesn’t matter how tall they grow or where they go, they will always be our babies. As Toni Morrison wrote in Beloved, ““Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that suppose to mean? In my heart it don’t mean a thing.”

  14. They Love Us, Too.
    Teens may not always express their love and appreciation (though it is magical when they do), know that you will always have a special place in their hearts.

Hug your kids and have a very happy Valentine’s Day!

Prior Post: In defense of the parent portal

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New socially-isolated fun activities with teens http://betweenusparents.com/new-socially-isolated-fun-activities-with-teens/ http://betweenusparents.com/new-socially-isolated-fun-activities-with-teens/#respond Tue, 21 Apr 2020 21:30:17 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=10518 Is the physical distancing and hunkering down at home starting to make days feel like Groundhog Day? Yup, here, too. We are trying to add some interest and diversity to our days by finding some news ways to have fun. Here are some new socially-isolated fun activities we’ve enjoyed the past few weeks, even the teens. (Whether or not they admit it is another story.)

Playing games, including a fun new one

Family game night is an old stand by and it’s gotten a lot of attention in the past month. But are you sick of your games? The good folks at Cards Against Humanity released a printable Family Edition that’s got a lot of bathroom humor, a few references to body parts that may make you squirm a bit and a ton of laughs.

Bonus – the instructions include washing your hands for 20 seconds.

Inspired by the ESPN HORSE Tournament, we’ve started playing HORSE in our driveway with our long-neglected basketball hoop. We may not be great, but it’s a good excuse to get outside and move a bit. Even if the weather isn’t great, it’s a pretty quick game so even if just one round mixes things up and effectively fights the monotony. Also, it’s been fun coming with other five-letter words to play. Mix things up, friends. My teen daughter isn’t the sportiest but I was surprised that she listed this one of her favorite fun new things to do. You never know what’s going to fly with teens, do you?

Baking new treats, including the DoubleTree Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

If you’ve checked in at a DoubleTree hotel, you know they offer a scrumptious chocolate chip cookie at the front desk. They’ve made their recipe public – you can find it here.

Photo by Joshua Bedford on Unsplash

While it’s a good cookie and a welcome delight after a day of traveling, I prefer mine without nuts (please don’t come after me), so the ability to make them to my taste is a big win. The recipe is newly released, so while chocolate chip cookies are the OG treat, you know this is a new to your family version.

Making new friends like Wellington the Penguin

Admittedly, it’s not easy to make new friends when social distancing is the name of the game but the good folks at the Shedd Aquarium have made it easy to meet and fall in love with Wellington, a rockhopper penguin, as he takes field trips around the premises and makes new friends himself.

©Shedd Aquarium

It’s fun to check in and see what he’s up to on a daily basis via the the aquarium’s FacebookTwitter and Instagram pages. They’ve even encouraged interactive projects like writing a haiku for him on Haiku Day. Making a new friend at the aquarium may not be the first thing that would come to your teen’s mind as a rock(hopper)ing good time with new peeps, but he’s warmed the hearts of my entire family and been a bright spot the past couple weeks.

(Also, for fun, check out this video on the surprisingly hilarious topic of Benedict Cumberbatch’s pronunciation of the world “penguin.”)

Discover new music

Music can is good for the soul, and a great way to connect with your kids. Make a Spotify family playlist and have everyone contribute favorite tunes. Turn it on during dinner prep and the odds of a dance party breaking out go up dramatically.

Check out one of the scores of online concerts, tune into DJ D-Nice’s Instagram Live events for a fun jam session (or check out his account for playlists, including an 80’s-inspired homeschool playlist that I’m loving and seems to offend my teen a little less with D-Nice’s seal of approval).

Broadway babies – check out the live-streamed Salute to Stephen Sondheim in honor the composer’s birthday featuring a crazy array of stars.

Some Good News

Some Good News – a 15-20 minute bit of awesomeness by John Krasinski – has so far been released on Sunday nights and it’s become must-see YouTube for my family. It never fails to be a wonderful end to the weekend.

It has also inspired other odd challenges around my house, such as timing how long it takes to unload the dishwasher and set new records. Given my family’s competitive nature, we will likely not have as many coffee mugs as we did when quarantine first started.

Prior Post: Best reads with helpful advice on raising teens in quarantine from this past week

You May Also Like: Thank you, Gov. Pritzker, for saying exactly what students need to hear right now

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Best reads with helpful advice on raising teens in quarantine from this past week http://betweenusparents.com/advice-teens-in-quarantine/ http://betweenusparents.com/advice-teens-in-quarantine/#respond Thu, 16 Apr 2020 18:17:21 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=10520 Times are strange, and that may be the understatement of the century. (I feel I can safely say that given that 1918 was the last time there was a pandemic similar to this one.) While everything feels odd right now, I find raising a teen in quarantine to generate some of my strongest feelings.

This morning while my teen summoned the dog into the next room to keep her company as she started her online classwork, I read about the silver linings of this time and the resilience they are learning. I got choked up. Then I clicked over to a news site and saw a piece about how teens may be struggling the most and be permanently impacted in not great ways. Again, I got choked up.

Photo by Eric Heininger on Unsplash

I am clearly really emotional this morning, but I think I’m responding to the fact that our teens seem particularly susceptible right now, to both the good and the bad. They are old enough to understand and to not be comforted by what their parents can offer, but not so old that their brains are fully formed or their hormonal levels have stopped fluctuating wildly.

Raising teens on the best of days involves feeling all the feels. That is only heightened when they cannot leave the house, are completely out of their routine, missing their peers and their own identities, and uncertain about their future. Here are some of the pieces I’ve read lately that have offered insight and perspective, as well as actionable advice that seems manageable and not overwhelming.

Why teens may never be the same after the pandemic
by Scottie Andrew on CNN

So, this headline is scary, and I’m sorry about that. But I think this article offers some good insight into why traumatic events impact teens in a unique way while also acknowledging that it is “difficult to generalize what life will be like for an entire cohort” and that they are getting through it. It offers some good advice from experts. My favorite:

“Even if everybody at home gets along, it’s really important for their emotional development to have their own downtime,” said Dr. Katherine Williamson, a California pediatrician and media representative for the American Academy of Pediatrics. Her other recommendations include staying on a schedule to maintain a sense of normalcy, eating healthy and exercising regularly.

Making the ‘New Normal’ Work – How to help kids, teens, and your family through social isolation. by Karen Young on Hey Sigmund

Lots of concrete advice and actionable suggestions in this piece on things parents can do day to day to help their kids during this challenging and lonely time. I appreciate that she covered the importance of mindfulness and nature. Other advice that resonated included this nugget:

There will be so much that will be feeling out of their control during social isolation – assessment uncertainty, the loss of sporting or extra-curricular events, the loss of time with friends. Let them have choices wherever you can, even with the things you might have held onto control of a little tighter before now. If something feels important to them, and if the outcome isn’t terrible, think about handing it over to them. 

Crazy to think this article is a month old, but the advice still applies. That’s particularly true as more and more activities that were important to them are cancelled. My senior had been holding out hope for an event scheduled for May 31st. It was recently cancelled and they said it would not be rescheduled. The finality of it unleashed my girl’s floodgates, and my heart broke for her. Damour’s advice was helpful:

Adults should not hesitate to say, ‘I hate that you have lost so much so fast and I am sorry it has happened. You’ll get through this, but that doesn’t make it any less miserable right now.’

When it comes to navigating painful feelings, the only way out is through, and offering our teenagers the compassion they deserve paves their way toward feeling better.

How to Help Teens Shelter in Place by Christine Carter in Greater Good Magazine

The idea of allowing our kids to step up to this moment and rise to the challenge the world has given them is one that I found heartening. I also was heartened by this suggestion about rising to the challenges at home, too:

Expect them to contribute to our household in meaningful ways. They can help with meal prep and household cleaning. Our kids assist with the cleaning by vacuuming and wiping down the counters. Keeping conflict low amid tight quarters is a meaningful contribution. Planning fun activities for the family to do together might be the most essential contribution of all!

I’m A Child Psychologist And A Mom Of Teens — Here Are 4 Tips For Helping Teens Cope With Confinement by Holly Antal, PhD, on Scary Mommy

One of her tips is about setting up a routine, not a schedule, and that’s a key distinction. Also, she offers advice for knowing when it’s time to seek professional help for a kid who is struggling:

It’s also important to remember that sometimes outside help is needed. While some stress, anxiety, and moodiness should be expected, if your child is having difficulty sleeping, trouble doing their schoolwork, becoming disinterested in their normal activities, or you’re not able to engage them in a conversation, it might be a good time to consider seeking help from a therapist. Virtually, of course!

You May Also Like: Thank you, Gov. Pritzker, for saying exactly what students need to hear right now

Prior Post: 15 Uplifting quotes for getting through quarantine

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15 Uplifting quotes for getting through quarantine http://betweenusparents.com/quotes-quarantine/ http://betweenusparents.com/quotes-quarantine/#respond Mon, 06 Apr 2020 04:41:11 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=10499 A message board in our house has become a place of inspiration where we share the words and wisdom of those who have gone before us and faced their own hardships. Times are tough, no doubt, but these uplifting quotes for getting through quarantine provide some inspiration, motivation and perspective.

quotes for getting through quarantine
Photo by Click and Learn Photography on Unsplash

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” – John Wooden

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” – Dolly Parton

“Hard times don’t create heroes. It is during the hard times that the ‘hero’ in us is revealed.” – Bob Riley

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” – Dr. Seuss

“Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua J. Marine

“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all, or by having everything happen all at once.” – Paulo Coelho

“I never would have made it if I could not have laughed. It lifted me momentarily out of this horrible situation, just enough to make it livable.” – Viktor Frankl

“The best view comes after the highest climb.” – Unknown

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” – Dennis Kimbro

“Whoever loves much, performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.” – Vincent Van Gogh

“If you’re going through hell keep going.” – Winston Churchill

“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” – African Proverb

“With the new day comes new thoughts and new strength.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“The person who has had more experience of hardships can stand more firmly in the face of problems than the person who has never experienced suffering. From this angle, then, some suffering can be a good lesson for life.” – The Dalai Lama

Bonus Quote: “If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffet (some attribute it to Robert Frost but I couldn’t find it in his work)

Prior Post: Thank you, Gov. Pritzker, for saying exactly what students need to hear right now

You May Also Like: What I’ve learned about parenting a teen during quarantine

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Thank you, Gov. Pritzker, for saying exactly what students need to hear right now http://betweenusparents.com/pritzker-message-to-students/ http://betweenusparents.com/pritzker-message-to-students/#respond Wed, 01 Apr 2020 20:28:06 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=10494 Governor J.B. Pritzker of Illinois has stepped up as a leader during the Covid crisis and while I can’t say I was a huge fan of his prior to this time, he’s won me over and I’ve been impressed. At his daily briefing yesterday, he delivered a message directly to students and I loved his honesty and empathy.

You can see that portion of his address here:

Thank you, Gov. Pritzker, for saying exactly what teens need to hear right now. I know it’s what I needed to hear, too, and I’m going to guess I’m not the only adult who found his words helpful. We’re all human, after all.

I’m grateful for the acknowledgment that the feelings we all have right now are part of being human. His encouragement to feel them helped me remember that doing so is the best way to move through them, and that in doing so we may get to a place where we see the good around us.

While it may not be new information, it bears repeating, multiple times from multiple sources. I appreciated that reminder that it is okay to be sad and be hopeful and be inspired, all simultaneously. It is okay to be human.

Here’s the text of that portion of Pritzker’s statement:

“I won’t try and tell you that texting and calling each other is the same as hanging out in the hallways or in the lunchroom.

And I won’t try to tell you that a Zoom prom is the same as a real prom.

I won’t try to tell you not to be sad about the lost goals and plans you may have had for March or April.

It’s okay to be sad.

And if you do feel sad or frustrated or angry – whatever you feel – please, let yourself feel that way.

Don’t beat yourself up over being human.

No, it’s not the school year you bargained for and I’m terribly sorry for that. But amidst these dire circumstances I want you to know there are plenty of people to learn from. There’s plenty of reason to hope.

Once you’re ready, take a look around. Take in the incredibly unique moment you’re living in. Yes, it’s scary and it’s uncertain and it’s difficult. But if you’re looking for a lesson in the fundamental goodness of people and of your community, it’s right there in front of you.”

Prior Post: The best way to spend 15 minutes with your teen today

You May Also Like: What I’ve learned about parenting a teen during quarantine

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The best way to spend 15 minutes with your teen today http://betweenusparents.com/15-minutes-with-your-teen/ http://betweenusparents.com/15-minutes-with-your-teen/#respond Mon, 30 Mar 2020 16:15:38 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=10482 The Office is a huge hit with teens, and most are big fans. Star John Kransinski yesterday released a YouTube video show called Some Good News. It’s 15 minutes long, and I feel pretty confident saying that watching it together is the best 15 minutes you can spend with your teen. You can see it here and get my ten reasons why it’s great below:

Here are ten reasons why Some Good News with John Krasinski is awesome:

1. We all need to good news right now. It was wonderfully reassuring for both me and my teen.

2. Not to ruin it – but Steve Carrell! Office fans rejoice!

3. In their conversation, John and Steve discuss that one reason the show was so fun is because the cast was so supportive of each other and allowed each other to shine.

4. The other guest that he has is a teen named Coco who just finished chemo. She offers a great explanation for why staying home right now is so important, and I think hearing it from a teen is particularly powerful.

5. There’s a lot of gratitude here in a way that’s really lovely.

6. My teen says it’s a good mix of laughs and heartwarming feels. Laughter is so needed right now.

7. It reminds us that it’s okay to cry, whether because of joy or sadness or just feeling deeply.

8. The examples of good news remind us that we can all make a difference and that small acts can have a big impact.

9. Krasinski’s Boston accent makes an appearance.

10. It celebrates the human spirit.

As an added bonus, it may have you and your kids on the look out for some good news of your own to share for future episodes, and that’s awesome, too.

There are a lot of great conversations that can start here but if you just watch, laugh and feel together, that’s a great way to connect. And connecting is a great way to spend 15 minutes with your teen.

Prior Post: What I’ve learned about parenting a teen during quarantine

You May Also Like: 12 Fun family games to play with teens and tweens

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What I’ve learned about parenting a teen during quarantine http://betweenusparents.com/what-ive-learned-about-parenting-a-teen-during-quarantine/ http://betweenusparents.com/what-ive-learned-about-parenting-a-teen-during-quarantine/#respond Fri, 20 Mar 2020 18:57:59 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=10477 The past week of parenting a teen during quarantine has been interesting, to say the least. Here’s what I’ve learned in this time of incredible uncertainty and stress.

Every kid is different.

Every parent is different.

Heck, every hour is different.

That means that we as parents are called up on to be flexible and empathetic and creative and all the flipping things, all at once. And what I’ve learned is that it is next to impossible to be all those things at once while dealing with our own complicated jumble of emotions.

I find myself wishing I had a masters in public health, a dual degree in child development and psychology, culinary training, and a crystal ball. I have none of those. And if it motivates you to know that Shakespeare wrote King Lear while in quarantine, that’s awesome, but I’m no Shakespeare and even if I was, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Bill probably wasn’t wondering how Lear would tell Cordelia that prom and graduation were unlikely to happen but we don’t now anything for sure right now.

So, what’s I’ve learned is that really all any of us can do is take it one step at a time. This has become my theme song:

The line “All we have is each other” is so much more poignant now than it ever was and I got a lump in my throat when I listened to this song earlier in the week.

We can hang on to each other while social distancing and giving teens under the same roof reassurance and love and space, too.

When I asked my teen what she said was helpful, she said having some alone time has been nice.

She also suggested finding a tv series that you can all watch together. (If you’re looking for one that’s good for all ages, we found the Disney+ Pick of the Litter to be a good one and a great reminder of the all the people working to help others.)

Allow them to feel all the feels, sometimes simultaneously.

Be honest. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” In fact, no one knows how this will all unfold and what it will mean for the future.

Stay hopeful. Our kids need know that we think things will be okay.

To help with that, check out this article: “Coronavirus news has us anxious and sad. Here are 11 things we’ve seen that lifted our spirits.

For an expert take from someone with a few of the degrees I wish I had, check out the article “Quarenteenagers: Strategies for Parenting in Close Quarters” by Lisa Damour, PhD.

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How a night of improv changed my parenting perspective during these crazy days http://betweenusparents.com/improv-parenting/ http://betweenusparents.com/improv-parenting/#comments Thu, 12 Mar 2020 19:48:27 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=7849 Parents of tweens and teens improvise regularly, and with Covid-19 impacting life in a myriad of ways and the situation continually evolving, it’s clear that we are all going to be doing some (or a lot of) improv at some point in the near future. These unprecedented times have me thinking back on the lessons I learned on the improve stage and how that impacted my parenting perspective.

A deep breath can be a huge help

Uncharted territory is scary.

I had no improv experience whatsoever – none, nada, nothing – and I was nervous and fearing the unknown.

As my heart started racing, I took a deep breath.

And I felt a little better.

Another one, and my heart stopped racing quite so fast. Not normal, mind you, but let’s not be picky.

When fears associated with the pandemic start to creep in, I find that, once again, taking a deep breath can help, especially when it’s followed by another, and then yet another.

Know what matters

I met Blue Team captain Stacey Smith a few minutes before the start of the show. She’s as hilarious in person as she is on stage, and beautiful, and I’d like to be her when I grow up. Surprisingly, she made the greatest impact on me when she looked me square in the eyes and said, “It doesn’t matter” with a fair amount of seriousness.

It’s all about perspective, and knowing what’s important. Keeping people safe, promoting healthy habits, supporting those in need – those things matter.

I was worried about improv games and making a fool of myself, but she reminded me that it doesn’t matter if you get “out.”  Don’t know what to do? It doesn’t matter. Worried about losing? Don’t be! It doesn’t matter! Also, it doesn’t matter if you do something totally silly or even make a complete fool of yourself.

It made me realize that I place a lot of importance on and devote an inordinate amount of mental energy to things that don’t matter.

As parents, it feels like all the things matter, all the times. And there are some big things that really do matter, especially in the teen years when you have to teach them how to drive a car without threatening the safety of the general public. Those things really do deserve our attention and angst.

While we face some significant inconveniences, ask yourself if, when thinking of the broader picture, it really matters. And it’s entirely possible that there are big things involved that matter – the big performance, the amazing spring break trip, the celebration of a major milestone. It’s reasonable to mourn those losses.

But also remember what matters most and think about doing your part to protect those things.

Commit and be all in

At first blush, this appears to be at odds with “it doesn’t matter,” but it turns out that it’s a whole lot easier to give 100% and put yourself out there when it doesn’t matter.

In case you were wondering what my “all in” laugh looks like

Around three-quarters of the way through the night, I realized that I had not seen one person in the audience on their phone. From my fun perch on the stage, I had a great vantage point. My teen in the front row who loves her some social media? Didn’t touch her phone once. When you are all in, it’s so much easier for others to be all in.

There’s something magical when a family is all in on the same thing. If we are all going to be spending more time at home with our families, figure out what might be fun to be all in on, and go for it. Baking, puzzles, games (plan tournaments to make up for the basketball conference tournaments that were cancelled), writing letters of gratitude to people in the community, find something.

One friend in Seattle said that she felt much better when she shifted her perspective from “this sucks for me” to “I’m doing my part.” Be all in on doing your part.

Storytelling is powerful

I’m afraid I had forgotten how very much I love to tell stories until one of the games at the ComedySportz show had me do just that. I told a story about a day in my life and my team reenacted it as a Broadway musical.

I opted for the time that I locked my two-year-old daughter in the car. Why not share my finest Mother of the Year moment?

I got a lot of positive feedback about the story, something I never could have imagined when I was in the moment. Time really is amazing.

It also reminded me that the stories we tell ourselves are powerful. That’s especially true of the stories we tell ourselves about our parenting.

This crazy time is going to give us some interesting stories to share later.

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Drowsy driving: The dangerous behavior we’re not doing enough to warn our kids about http://betweenusparents.com/drowsy-driving-teens/ http://betweenusparents.com/drowsy-driving-teens/#respond Sun, 16 Feb 2020 21:47:23 +0000 http://betweenusparents.com/?p=10452 You’ve probably talked with your kids about not drinking and driving, right? And it’s likely that a fair number of your have addressed not doing drugs and driving, especially if you’re like me and live in a state in which cannabis has been legalized.

But have you talked to your teens about not driving when they are tired and have not had sufficient sleep?

Photo by Cory Bouthillette on Unsplash

There are more vehicular accidents caused by drowsy driving than those caused by alcohol and drugs combined.

I admit I was really shocked when I read that in the book Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker, PhD.

He went on to say that “[t]ragically, one person dies in a traffic accident every hour in the United States due to a fatigue-related error.”

People who sleep 6-7 hours a night are twice as likely to be involved in a crash than are people who sleep 8 hours a night, according to the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety.

This is a particularly big problem among teens. The Sleep Foundation says “that younger drivers account for almost two-thirds of drowsy-driving crashes, even though they represent only one fourth of licensed drivers.” Moreover, they report that young adults ages 18-29 are more likely to say they’ve driven drowsy (71 percent), compared to roughly half of adults ages 30-64. 

Parents can help by first making their teen drivers aware of the dangers and then stressing the importance of not driving when drowsy. Encourage them to get enough sleep.

When getting more sleep is not possible, make sure they know they have alternatives to hopping behind the wheel when exhausted. That’s especially true in this era of ride shares (which, of course, need to be done safely). Model making good choices, and let them/hear you ask someone else to drive because you’re tired.

How can parents help teens get more sleep? Get some expert advice from this post: How parents can help teens get enough sleep.

And if you have kids who really need to understand the why behind behavior changes, have them read Why We Sleep. It’s a fascinating explanation of the benefits of a good night’s rest and convincing argument for prioritizing sleep. I discovered it after Bill Gates included it on his recent book list.

Here’s to rest teens and safer roads!

You May Also Like: The latest compelling info on later high school start times

Prior Post: 14 Things to Love about Teens

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