Letter to my daughter about what truly matters

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Dear Daughter,

I hope you know that you regularly make me proud. I was certainly proud last night when you received your award at the band concert. I know that you worked hard to get it, practicing those 16 scales over and over again until you could perform them all in three minutes with no mistakes.

I admire your determination and perseverance.  I beamed when they called your name and when a gym full of people clapped in recognition of your accomplishment, but I’m writing this to let you know that there were several other occasions that made me ridiculously proud of you this week.

When you told me about your weekly volunteer session that pairs you with a disabled student, I was hugely proud. I thought my buttons would burst when I learned that you had invited a girl who struggles both socially and academically to join you in your gym class group. It was a small action to you, but I suspect that it was a big action to her.

You are kind and considerate of your classmates, and that will always make me hugely proud of you. Always.

There is a lot of emphasis on awards at your school. There are the student of the week awards and the sign outside the school lists the names of kids selected for district awards. I know that there are other award winners announced over the loud speaker and in the yearbook. And while those are nice, they aren’t everything.

Awards don’t always indicate whether someone has been thoughtful, or helpful, or that they have gone out of their way to do something nice for another. I would far prefer that you do and be those things rather than bring home a lot of trophies or certificates.

You don’t need a gym clapping for you to know that you’ve done the right thing.

Please know that, in the end, the small and quiet actions that don’t get much recognition can make as big difference, and quite possibly leave a more lasting impression, as the actions that earn you plaques and ribbons.

Keep on doing what you’re doing, baby girl. Keep looking for those chances to choose kind and know that every time you do, I will be clapping for you.

Love,

Your very proud mama

deardaughterYOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Laurence Steinberg on parenting: It’s about thriving, not just surviving

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