Parenting teens is tough work, and that fact is getting more and more attention, especially after this powerful blog post. We are intensely focused on helping our kids navigate the tricky waters of adolescence and preparing to launch them into the world with all the necessary information and skills. That makes it ridiculously easy to feel overwhelmed, to be exhausted and to lose sight of who we are as independent adults.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

We hear a lot about how stressed teens are, and that’s completely true. Parents of teens are also ridiculously stressed. A 2014 survey by the American Psychological Association called Stress in America<\/a> found that parents who have a child under 18 at home reported higher stress levels than other adults, and they report doing less to manage their stress.<\/p>\n

When our kids were little, I feel like there was a lot of talk about putting the oxygen mask on ourselves. I don’t know that teen parents hear that enough, if at all. But it’s a must.<\/p>\n

Self-care is critical. <\/strong><\/h4>\n

Not only does it make parenting more doable, I think it’s part of parenting itself. It is modeling for your kids how to be a healthy adult. Here are a few favorite pieces of advice I’ve seen about self-care for parents of teens.<\/p>\n

Self-care doesn’t have to involve a trip to the spa, or be expensive<\/h4>\n

Remember that self-care should not lead to you worrying about time and money. It doesn’t have to be big. Small but meaningful actions that help you be more mindful can have a big impact.<\/p>\n

“This doesn\u2019t necessarily mean self-care is a weekly trip to the spa or lavish vacations. Rather, self-care involves building healthy and rejuvenating physical, emotional, mental, relational, and spiritual practices into daily life. For some this may simply involve turning off all electronics an hour before bed. Others may find taking a walk with a friend or neighbor to be key for increasing well-being. You can\u2019t stop being a parent, but you can incorporate small, daily practices that keep you sane and happy in the midst of the parenting whirlwind.” – My Parenthetical<\/a>\u00a0(They offer 50 ideas for self-care here<\/a>. My favorites include giving and getting hugs from family members, finding things that make you laugh and listening to music. There are others that make my list below.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That also means that self-care isn’t necessarily about splurging. Just as caring for our kids is about doing the hard work and not just going with their every whim, caring for ourselves means doing the hard work, too. In the Forbes article “Self-Care Is Not an Indulgence. It’s a Discipline<\/a>,”<\/p>\n

Self-care is also a discipline because it\u2019s not something you do once in awhile when the world gets crazy. It\u2019s what you do every day, every week, month in and month out. It\u2019s taking care of yourself in a way that doesn\u2019t require you to \u201cindulge\u201d in order to restore balance. It\u2019s making the commitment to stay healthy and balanced as a regular practice.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Friendship is important – make time for it\u00a0<\/a><\/h4>\n

I loved this article<\/a> in Time that explained how friendship “helps protect the brain and body from stress, anxiety and depression” and that four or five friends is enough to reap the benefits. As parents of teens, it can be tough to find time for friends, but it’s really important. Not only is it good for your health, those friendships will be important when your kiddos fly the nest. Having your own life will make that transition a bit easier. The article also offers advice on how to develop and nurture those friendships, including:<\/p>\n

“If you\u2019re trying to replenish a dried-up friendship pool, start by looking inward. Think back to how you met some of your very favorite friends. Volunteering on a political campaign or in a favorite spin class? Playing in a band? \u201cFriendships are always about something,\u201d says Rawlins. Common passions help people bond at a personal level, and they bridge people of different ages and life experiences.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Reduce the Mental Load<\/h4>\n

There’s been much discussion of the mental load in the past year or so. One mom explains how she reduced it in this article<\/a>. Eliminate and delegate were big steps and while we moms know that it’s not easy to give up something, the benefits can be well-worth the effort. Especially with teens, see what you can delegate to them. (Laundry? Making meal on a weekend? Find tips for getting kids to do chores here.) \u00a0When you delegate to a teen, not only are you helping yourself, you help them develop some life skills and learn some valuable lessons.<\/p>\n

Here’s my non-expert advice as the mom of a teen who isn’t great at self-care but who is trying to be better:<\/p>\n

SLEEP!\u00a0<\/strong><\/strong><\/h4>\n

<\/a>