At Trader Joe’s last week, I stood at the end of the check out aisle, stacking fruits and veggies into the brown paper bags I can never seem to open efficiently. The cashier thanked me for bagging the groceries, and I looked at him with surprise. It felt to me like the chocolate factory scene with Lucille Ball – items were piling up faster than I could take care of them – and my work didn’t feel at all commendable.<\/p>\n

“I’m sorry I’m slow,” I said. I noticed that he was a manager and thought it must be a busy day if he was working a register, and I tried to hurry up.<\/p>\n

“Relax,” he said. “We like people who take their time and do things right instead of just rushing through them.”<\/p>\n

And with that, I took a deep breath and exhaled out some of the unnecessary self-imposed pressure.<\/a><\/p>\n

I looked past the cash register and saw that there was no one waiting on me. Even if someone had been there, it wasn’t likely that he would have been holding a stop watch, checking to see how fast I could load a grocery bag.<\/p>\n

I was grateful for that little bit of grace from the Trader Joe’s employee, and I wondered if he was reading Hands Free Life: 9 Habits for Overcoming Distraction, Living Better, and Loving More<\/a> by Rachel Macy Stafford, as I was.<\/p>\n

It’s the follow-up to Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters!<\/a> by her, and I have to say that I liked this second book better than the first.
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The book is divided into three parts: Creating Lasting Connections, Living for Today, and Protecting What Matters. The chapters of the book start with quotes and one of my favorites was this:<\/p>\n

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

While she talks about parenting throughout the book and tells many stories of her daughter, one part that really stuck with me was on the need to support one another in a family. Macy Stafford writes, “In today’s culture, we need someone in our corner\u00a0 … to have our back … to believe in us when we don’t believe in ourselves. We can do that for each other.”<\/p>\n

Thinking that the Trader Joe’s employee was on my side actually made a difference in my day, and I’d never seen him before. That really hammered home the need to make sure my kid knows I’m on her side.<\/p>\n

What Macy-Stafford says reminded me of what I’ve heard Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a parenting expert, say about the importance of our kids knowing that we are on their side, even when we are saying “no.”<\/p>\n

A friend just today was messaging me about parenting, the pressure that we sometimes place on our kids, and the unintentional messages it can send.\u00a0 My friend wrote, “If your parents don’t think much of you, it’s going to be harder to think much of yourself.”<\/span><\/p>\n

I love getting little truth bombs, and it immediately brought to mind that portion of Hands Free Life. The irony that I read it on my phone was not lost on me, but it was when I was by myself and not cutting into family time. Also, reminders like that are important and I’ll take them by whatever media the universe feels fit to deliver them, even carrier pigeon.<\/p>\n

Another aspect of the book that really resonated with me was her encouragement to make the most of the simple joys found in ordinary days, and I find it’s infinitely easier to do so when not in a race to get to the bottom of the to do list, which we know is a Sisyphean task.<\/p>\n

“Taking a few minutes to savor everyday wonders make the heart fuller, the inner doubts quieter, and the human connections stronger. And that’s when the ordinary becomes extraordinary for yourself and those who share your life,” writes Macy Stafford.<\/p>\n

It reminded me of Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White, particularly the portion where Dr. Dorian says, “Oh, no, I don’t understand it. But for that matter I don’t understand how a spider learned to spin a web in the first place. When the words appeared, everyone said they were a miracle. But nobody pointed out that the web itself is a miracle.”<\/p>\n

“Human beings must always be on the watch for the coming of wonders,\u201d says a clergyman in Charlotte’s Web.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Those wonders so often present themselves not with the fanfare of a big event, but when we least expect them in the ordinary happenings of our daily lives.<\/p>\n

On days when the news breaks your heart into a million pieces, I think those ordinary miracles and the hope for coming wonders become the glue that holds us together.<\/p>\n

It’s so much easier to see and to appreciate those wonders when they are hands free, as Macy illustrates throughout her book, and as I’m reminded by the Sarah McLachlan song “Ordinary Miracle” from the movie Charlotte’s Web.<\/p>\n