My head isn’t quite in the game, for a few reasons. My daughter will be with her dad on the actual Thanksgiving Day. My family is scattered across a few time zones and not spending this holiday together. I know that Thanksgiving is both an action and a season. I realize that gratitude and the gathering of family can happen at any time, not just on the fourth Thursday in November, which Congress designated as Thanksgiving in 1941.

It’s my daughter’s last Thanksgiving before she goes to college and I feel like it needs to be especially great and memorable. The pressure of the lasts now applies to holidays, too.

I’ve always appreciated Normal Rockwell but I’m coming to realize that he may have set for America “standards that no family event can live up to” just as Ellen told Clark he was doing in the fabulous movie Christmas Vacation.

My wish is that wherever and whenever and with whomever is at your table that you enjoy a happy Thanksgiving. May you have a full heart and tummy. But if your celebration does not resemble a Norman Rockwell painting, please know that you’re not alone.

Thanksgiving can be tough for those who are missing loved ones, struggling with loss, overwhelmed with expectations, fighting exhaustion, trying hard to make peace — and that’s all before you factor in what it’s like to raise a teenager.

If that’s not you, it’s likely someone you know.

That doesn’t mean people feeling those feels are not thankful. Quite the opposite, actually. You can be sad and also full of feelings of gratitude and appreciation and love. All of the hard stuff can co-exist with all of the good stuff.

I wish I had words of wisdom that would ease heartache or disappointment for whom this is a tough day. I’m afraid I don’t, but here’s what I do know and it might be good to hear in case your Thanksgiving isn’t ideal.

People are complicated.

Families are messy.

Loss hurts.

No holiday celebration is always perfect.

It’s okay to be sad.

Different is hard, and it can be okay, even good.

You are not alone.

You are enough.

Tomorrow is another day.

Happy Thanksgiving. I’m grateful to you for reading.

You May Also Like: Wonderful quotes from Mr. Rogers for parents

Prior Post: 12 Fun Advent calendars for teens and tweens

Please like Between Us Parents’ Facebook Page.

Don’t miss a post! Please subscribe to Between Us Parents’ safe, spam-free email list in the box in the top right corner of the page!

But what about people who aren’t so fortunate and who don’t have so much food? I’m ridiculously thankful to live in America, and when thinking of it as the land of opportunity and plenty, it’s easy to forget that 1 in 5 children in our country struggles with hunger. This Thanksgiving, No Kid Hungry is looking to feed hungry kids this Thanksgiving and beyond.Did you know that the average Thanksgiving meal costs $49?

For $49, you can provide up to 490 meals to hungry children this holiday season and throughout the year through No Kid Hungry, a project of Share Our Strength.

This campaign is ending childhood hunger in America by connecting kids in need with nutritious food and teaching families how to cook healthy, affordable meals. You can help surround kids with healthy food where they live, learn and play.

You can donate here. You can do so on any day, of course,  and it will be sincerely appreciated, but Giving Tuesday on December 2 is a great time to take action against hunger and know that you’re making the most of your donation because it will be matched.

#GivingTuesday is a global day dedicated to giving back and No Kid Hungry has a goal of raising $50,000, which will be matched by a generous partner. That means we have the opportunity to help connect kids with up to 1 million meals and get kid gets the healthy food they need to succeed, this year and beyond.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Funny quotes about Thanksgiving to tickle your wishbone

Don’t miss a post! Subscribe to Mom Factually’s completely safe, spam-free email list in the box in the top right corner of the page!

Please like Mom Factually on Facebook. You can also find MF on Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram.

I’m honored to be a No Kid Hungry Blogger, and think it’s worth mentioning that I don’t receive anything for these posts.

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”
― Erma Bombeck

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” – Oscar Wilde

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” ― Kevin James

“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” —Jay Leno

“What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?” ― Erma Bombeck

“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” – Stephen Colbert

“I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” —Howie Mandel  (Check out my piece on why Canadian Thanksgiving is at a much better time than American Thanksgiving here.)

“I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.”
― Craig Ferguson

“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” ― Erma Bombeck

“Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.”  ― Michael Dresser

This one may be a bit gross, but it did make me chuckle:

“If you’re at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you’re eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you’re out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, ‘Boy, these are good cigars!'” – Jack Handey

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:  Move the date of Turkey Day and Closed on Thanksgiving: Why Chef Michael Symon gets it right

Please like Mom Factually on Facebook. You can also find MF on Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram.

The retailers clearly have no interest in Turkey Day this year. The Container Store had wrapping paper everywhere and was loudly announcing the bow making demonstration, as if all we had left to do was wrap those purchased gifts. Uh, nope. It’s Nov. 2nd, and I’m just here for an earring holder. (I know, it’s a little weird, but not as weird as the lady making the bows, trust me.) Target emailed their holiday toy mailer so that it arrived on Halloween. Amazon was tossing ads at me this weekend.

Halloween now morphs straight into the Christmas-Hanukkah-New Years season. I would say “the holidays” but that sounds like it includes Thanksgiving and really, I saw nothing related to Thanksgiving yesterday at Pottery Barn and maybe one turkey baster at Crate and Barrel.

Thanksgiving has become an afterthought and I’m not okay with that.

We want children who are grateful, but we’re perfectly fine relegating the holiday that emphasizes gratitude to the back burner. Thanksgiving deserves its due, as does gratitude and appreciation for what we have and for those who have gone before us.

If we want grateful kids, we need to model that feeling of appreciation and show them what it looks like. Thanksgiving is a great chance to do just that.

You know who gets Thanksgiving right? Our neighbors to the north in Canada.

Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving on the second Monday in October, usually when we in the States observe Columbus Day, or Indigenous Peoples’ Day, in some cities.

The Canadians moved Thanksgiving from November to October to space it out from their Veterans Day, or Remembrance day.  See, holidays, like fine wine, need time to breathe. So do people, and moving Thanksgiving to October allows that.

Moving Thanksgiving makes sense for so many reasons.

* We can celebrate the indigenous people who literally saved the Pilgrims’ bacon. The folks from the Mayflower would not have survived if not for the assistance they received from those who were already here.

* Celebrating Thanksgiving in October is more historically accurate. The Old Farmer’s Almanac says that the Pilgrims’ first Thanksgiving took place in “mid-October, not November.”

* Why not celebrate the harvest when it actually takes place? I feel like Thanksgiving is to express gratitude for our harvest, both literal and figurative. But by the time we celebrate, that harvest is long done. Our local farmers market ended in October. I bought a few things to save up for Thanksgiving dinner. (Hello, cute cranberries in the freezer. I’m talking about you.) But how wonderful to be able to enjoy a fresh bounty.

* Spaces out the holiday travel is a good thing. Thanksgiving this year is November 27, less than a full calendar month before Christmas. Things get frantic and hectic.  (See breathing comment above.) Give people a chance to spread out the expense and either the time away, or the time hosting. And come on, going a few more weeks between seeing Aunt Edna and Cousin Ralph isn’t going to hurt anyone.

* This will save Thanksgiving and retailers’ bottom lines. I concede defeat to the retailers. I’m not trying to sink the economy here, and I must accept that mall Santa just isn’t going to step down, as a wise friend on the internet said after sharing a photo of the fully lit tree at her mall today. Thanksgiving can be a movable feast.  Spacing out Thanksgiving and Christmas may also avert the issue of stores open on Thanksgiving and the bitter battles that sometimes erupt over that.

Thanksgiving should be a national day of gratitude, not of shopping.

* We have changed a lot of laws in this country since 1941, which is when Congress decreed that Thanksgiving would be on the fourth Thursday. And if you want to stick with Thursday, that’s fine by me. The second Thursday in October will work just fine for me.

* It’s still football season. There will be no missing of the Lions or the Cowboys. It also won’t harm other traditions. I’ve been in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, and I froze my patootie off. That experience would be a lot more pleasant if held a month earlier.

Should I pencil it in?

What do you think? If you had the power, would you move Thanksgiving? Let me know in the comments, please.

Please like Mom Factually on Facebook. You can also find MF on Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: 8 fun facts about fall