Thank you note writing tips for children may seem like a bit much, but starting note writing early can have numerous benefits. Those benefits include: making it a routine that they are used to (which will make getting them to write notes easier down the road. Maybe not exactly easy, but easier when it’s something they’ve always done); practice of fine motor skills, be it coloring a picture or scribbling their name; handwriting practice with a purpose; and it’s a great way to practice spelling, grammar, sentence structure and all those important lessons they’re learning in school and now they can see the practical application.

Here are six thank you note writing tips for children.

Take a picture of your child with the gift

One idea for littler ones not quite writing yet would be to make a sign that says “Thank you” and take a photo of the kids holding it up with their gifts, then print the photo and send that to the giver. If you print it on regular typing paper and keep it small in size (maybe 4×6), your daughter will have plenty room to write her name underneath and maybe a picture, too, if the artistic spirit moves her.

If they’re up for coloring, have your child color a picture of himself or herself with the gift. These are always sweet.

Let your little one dictate a thank you note

I love the idea of having her dictate to you. You could have a fill-in-the-blank script of “Thank you for the _______. I love it because ________.” (I think 2 sentences is enough for a 4 yr old! Maybe next year you could add in “I hope your new year is _____.”)

Fill in the blanks on a pre-printed card.

You can have your new writer start by just filling in the blanks on pre-printed cards. You can find templates to print out at home. I thought these and these were cute. This is an especially good option if your lucky kiddo has a lot of notes to write.

Have early writers copy a thank you note.

If you have a more experienced or eager writer, pre-write the note for them to copy.

I remember my mom writing out a thank you note for us on an index card and we would copy it. It’s one of those early memories that’s rather fuzzy, but I remember sitting at our kitchen table, and I remember it was on a 3×5 note card.

Keep it simple. It also helps if you do the formatting for them.

“Dear _______,

Thank you for the ___________. I love it!

Sincerely,

Sam”

If you want to make it a bit more fun, let kids pick out stickers to decorate their note.

Parents will need to help with envelope addressing but late elementary kids should be able to handle it with supervision. Take them to the post office and allow them to pick out the stamps they’d like to use. Snail mail may be dwindling, but it’s never a bad thing for your child to know how to address and mail an envelope.

The flip side of this, however, is letting kids hand deliver notes if that’s an option that can feasibly done not long after receiving the gift. The excitement the receiver shows will make your little letter writer feel good, and hopefully reinforce the practice of thank you note writing as a good one.

Older Kids

Many parents have the “you can’t use it until you’ve written the thank you note” rule, which is one way to go. I haven’t adopted that policy, though we do set deadlines for when notes need to be completed. Similar to letting kids pick out stamps, I find that letting my tween daughter pick out note cards at Target gets her a little more interested in the process. I’m loving this year’s selection.

Kids can get easily overwhelmed. If you have them follow the 3 sentence rule, it’s seems more manageable. Even Emily Post says it is best to “keep it short and sweet.” For tips on getting tweens and teens (and even grown-ups!) to write thank you notes, check out my post on Tween Us here.

And while I prefer a handwritten thank you note, types or emailed thank you’s are better than no note at all.

Write thank you notes throughout the year

Birthdays, graduations, and just because someone did something nice for you are all good reasons to write thank you notes. Some other opportunities include writing one for their teacher at the end of the school year, a note to the librarian at the conclusion of the summer reading program, a coach at the conclusion of a sports season. These are all great occasions for giving the note in person.

My daughter had a fellow flute player who offered her a lot of support this fall as they worked toward the same goal. When my girl told me how touched she was by her friend’s kindness, I suggested she write her a note. (Shocking, right?) I was little surprised when my daughter actually did so, and even a little more surprised when the friend wrote her a sweet note back thanking her for the thank you note.

I love that they seem value in tangibly expressing their gratitude for each other. That exchange made all the thank you note struggles worth it.

Side note: My Great-aunt and Great-uncle were generous when my brother and I were children and often sent us gifts for special occasions. My mom always made sure we wrote a thank you note. I definitely did not appreciate the practice as a child. I learned a few years ago, however, after they had both passed away that another relative had discovered a box in their attic with every card and thank you note we had ever sent them.  Any lingering doubts about the practice of writing thank you notes evaporated after that.

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