I’m a big believe in the idea that talking about tough things can be incredibly helpful, which is why I’m excited to be part of this video featuring Karen Cahn, Founder & CEO VProud, offering the best tricks and tips for co-parenting during the holidays from both her personal experience and that of other VProud community members. (Yours truly appears in the video below around 4:40.)

It’s really honest, and includes some straight talk about just how tough the first year can be. Hint: It’s tough, really, really tough, and she doesn’t sugar coat that fact. But you’re going to make it through, as are your kids and your ex, so you might as well do so in a way that’s best for all involved. That doesn’t necessarily mean that these tips are the easiest things to do, but they really will help.

You can see the video here. (There are some swear words so this may not be best to watch at work and around littles)

I echo all the sentiments shared, especially that this can be an okay and even fun time of year. Thinking positively! Your children will absolutely pick up on your feelings, positive and negative, so while you want to be honest with kids, you also want them to know that everyone involved is going to be okay and some fun times will be enjoyed. That’s easier to do whenever everyone is following the tip of acting like grown-ups and while you cannot control how others act (no matter how much you’d like to), you can absolutely control yourself.

One tricky paradox of co-parenting around the holidays is that you’re dealing with a lot of people, but you’re also going to have moments when you feel really lonely. If you take advantage of that alone time to do things that make you feel awesome and practice good self-care, it will put you in a much better place for dealing with others.

I’m a big believer in self-care in general, but especially around the holidays. It’s important, regardless of your marital status.

It’s so easy to get run down at the holidays and when your tank is on empty, it’s tough to have anything left to give your kids let alone deal with your ex and other current or former relatives. I’m a fan of activities that I find hard to do when I have my daughter, but whatever replenishes your reserves is good, be it yoga class, curling up with a great book, binge watching a great show, taking a bath, anything that helps you relax. Also, sleep.  Definitely sleep.

Hoping everyone enjoys a beautiful holiday season! (And as the video says, it is a season, not a day!)

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