“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller
“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” – John Wooden
“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” – Dolly Parton
“Hard times don’t create heroes. It is during the hard times that the ‘hero’ in us is revealed.” – Bob Riley
“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” – Dr. Seuss
“Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua J. Marine
“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all, or by having everything happen all at once.” – Paulo Coelho
“I never would have made it if I could not have laughed. It lifted me momentarily out of this horrible situation, just enough to make it livable.” – Viktor Frankl
“The best view comes after the highest climb.” – Unknown
“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” – Dennis Kimbro
“Whoever loves much, performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.” – Vincent Van Gogh
“If you’re going through hell keep going.” – Winston Churchill
“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” – African Proverb
“With the new day comes new thoughts and new strength.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“The person who has had more experience of hardships can stand more firmly in the face of problems than the person who has never experienced suffering. From this angle, then, some suffering can be a good lesson for life.” – The Dalai Lama
Bonus Quote: “If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffet (some attribute it to Robert Frost but I couldn’t find it in his work)
Prior Post: Thank you, Gov. Pritzker, for saying exactly what students need to hear right now
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]]>At this time of year, a dozen or so years ago, I worried about the dreaded Santa ask switcheroo that preschoolers are known to pull at the last minute.
I feared that my preschooler would decide that she no longer wanted a princess dress and opt for something else. If I wasn’t on my toes and able to anticipate any last minute needs, would the jolly old elf’s jig be up?
Could I maintain the magic?
A few years later, I worried that the doll from the Island of Misfit Toys in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer would not arrive in time.
My daughter very specifically requested that one doll from Santa. It was no longer manufactured and hadn’t been for many years. After a large number of hours searching and even larger amount of money, I was able to procure the hoped-for doll from Ebay. What if she didn’t land on our doorstep in time and it was all for naught?
I was also concerned that my little girl’s tender heart would be hurt – the one that wanted to make sure that the doll was well-loved to make up for the sadness she had seen on screen.
Shipping issues aside, how would I teach her to stay sweet yet be tough in the face of the cruelty sometimes found in this world?
Not many Christmases later, I worried about crafting the sheep costume for the Christmas pageant.
My daughter was to be a sheep in the “Christmas Eve Spectacular starring Jesus,” as a friend had dubbed the production.
I had been told a costume would be provided. At the last minute, I found out that there were no sheep costumes. I would need to make one. On very short notice.
I was at the end of my single parent holiday rope.
I had a meltdown. Then I got to work gluing cotton balls. I confess that I stapled makeshift ears to a winter hat already in our closet. It wasn’t pretty, but she deemed it passable. My fears of her being rejects, or her scalp being injured were not realized. She escaped unscathed.
She looked adorable sitting on the steps of the altar with Sheepie, the small stuffed animal she has loved since babyhood, while the two shepherds behind her hit each other with their staffs.
Then I worried about telling her the truth abut Santa.
I feared both my girl finding out and what possible damage I was doing by not coming clean. It seemed she vacillated in her stance, skeptical one moment, fervent believer the next. Trust is so valuable, and I didn’t want to damage it.
Making her a part of the magic of giving would be great, of course, but also different from the story that had brought us both much joy.
Today, all of those worries have faded. And I miss them.
There’s the saying that if everyone threw their worries into a circle, you’d want your own back. That’s certainly true for me. I was privileged to have those worries, and this child, who is not so child-like these days. Now there are worries about finals and winter driving and college decisions.
For now, I’m hoping to learn from Christmases past and put the worries aside. My goal is to stay focused on Christmas present. It may have its own worries, but it also presents its own delights. I wouldn’t trade those – the best of all gifts – for anything.
Prior Post: Christmas Scavenger Hunt Clues – 2019 edition
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and
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Here are some wonderful YA books released in the past year that will make great gifts for teens this holiday season and beyond.
This post contains affiliate links meaning you don’t pay anything additional if you make a purchase but I may make a small commission to help keep the holiday lights on and twinkling.
Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe by Preston Norton
In a starred review, Publishers Weekly described this as a “[f]unny and sweetly oddball book… At the story’s core is an unsentimental treatment of a bullied kid and his one-time bully discovering their commonalities. That Norton accomplishes this without moralizing and in inventively rhythmic and pop-culture-saturated language only adds to the fun.”
Four Dead Queens by Astrid Scholte
This murder mystery will appeal to fans of the Divergent series and those who like books that feel a bit like rollercoaster rides with unexpected turns, plot twists and suspense that makes your heart race.
A Thousand Sisters: The Heroic Airwomen of the Soviet Union in World War II by Elizabeth Wein
This nonfiction account of young (often teen) female aviators in World War II was just named to the short list for the YALSA’s Award for Excellence in Nonfiction earlier this month. It’s great for those who like true stories, history, and strong female characters. I’m thinking it may also be a decent way to remind teens that others have faced enormous challenges at young ages.
I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sánchez
It’s easy to understand why this was a finalist for the National Book Award. Infused with both humor and heartbreak, School Library Journal gave it a starred review, saying the book is a “timely and must-have account of survival in a culturally contested world.”
American Royals by Katharine McGee
If you have a royal fan in your house, this fun book explores what would it be like if the U.S. had a royal family. The book follows fictitious descendants of George Washington in a world in which the founders opted for a king and not a president. Fans of Meghan and Kate in particular will appreciate this but many teens will identify with the questions of identity and expectations.
Frankly In Love by David Yoon
This romance is told from the point of view of Frank Li, the son of South Korean immigrants living in Southern California. The New York Times describes it as a “beautifully layered novel about first love, tribalism and that brief, magical period when kids have one foot in high school, one foot out the door” and adds that it “explores themes of racism, forgiveness and acceptance without getting earnest or preachy or letting anyone off the hook. And there’s a universality to the story that cuts across cultures.”
There’s Something About Sweetie by Sandhya Menon
My daughter and I both really enjoyed When Dimple Met Rishi so when I saw the author had a new companion book out, we were excited. (This is a great pairing if you’re looking to give a few books to the same recipient.)
Look Both Ways: A Tale Told in Ten Blocks by Jason Reynolds
This book is also a finalist for the National Book Award and is a great option for kids in middle school or junior high, but it’s still clever enough to suck in older readers. The book is unique – there are ten stories – one per block – and Reynolds does a wonderful job weaving them together in a remarkably engaging way. There’s a lot to talk about – this book would be a great family read.
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Happy World Kindness Day, a global celebration dedicated to paying i forward and focusing on the good. Kindness Day first began when a collection of humanitarian groups from several nations, now known as the World Kindness Movement, united on November 13, 1997 and made a “Declaration of Kindness.”
Not only is kindness contagious. It’s free, it can be easy, and it is important.
It’s important not just for making the world a better place but for each individual’s emotional well being, which makes it a topic to cover with your kids.
“When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.”
The Dalai Lama
Science backs this up. Research from the University of California Riverside showed tweens ages 9-11 who performed acts of kindness towards others were happier and also tended to be the students with whom their classmates wanted to spend time. Other studies studies show that kindness has many physical, emotional, and mental health benefits.
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”
Lao Tzu
It’s important for our kids to recognize and acknowledge the kindness directed their way, too.
I like to ask my child each day to tell me about both a time she was kind to someone and also an act of kindness that someone did for her that day. It took a little time, but after it became a part of our evening routine, she had more and more stories to share.
Sometimes kids are more willing to talk about others than themselves, so switch up and ask what acts of kindness they have observed.
It’s also worth reminding kids that acts of kindness don’t need to be huge moments. Small acts can have a huge impact. Sometimes our kids think on the scale of moments that go viral. Remind that a small act often causes a ripple, and that’s going viral in a different, and arguably more impactful, way.
“There’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
Scott Adams
Need some ideas for being kind as a family? Check out the suggestions at RandomActsofKindness.org. And definitely ask your kids. It’ll give you some insight into how they see the world. It’s also an opportunity to send the message that you trust them to see what the world needs and then find a way to help meet that need.
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]]>I’ve found that there are a few things that are helping me not only survive but really enjoy this period of parenting.
Flats from Rothy’s
This post contains affiliate links, meaning you don’t pay anything but I may make a small commission to help keep the lights on if you make a purchase through them. I’m picky, only share what I love, and all opinions are my own.
Parents are on the go and keeping up with a senior means good shoes are key. It’s hard to have a great day in shoes that hurt. This transitional period may be all about pushing beyond your comfort zone, and that’s a good thing, but that doesn’t mean your feet should feel uncomfortable. Rothy’s shoes have been my go to flats for the first two month of school and I love them. Let me count the ways:
- They are truly ridiculously comfortable;
- They are washable (really!); and
- They go with pretty much everything and are easy to dress up or down, meaning I can wear them to them work, the financial aid workshop or a moms’ night out; and
- They are sustainable, with part of them being made using recycled plastic water bottles.
They are my go-to, and I love that they are good for both the Earth and my sense of style. They aren’t cheap, but I’ve had one pair for a year and they’ve worn so well that I asked for a second for my birthday. Pro-tip: order a half size up from your usual size.
Books
I sadly fell off the reading wagon somewhere along the road through my teen’s junior year but I got back on it over the summer, and I’m so very glad I did. Ushering your child through adolescence can be a bit all-consuming, and I’ve found picking up a book is a great way to escape into another world and forget the teen issues. When I put my book down, I find that I am calmer and have a better perspective.
A few books I’ve read and enjoyed recently:
The Dutch House by Ann Patchett – This family saga is getting a lot of buzz and it is a great read that may also make you feel like parent of the year compared to some of the characters. The audio book is read by Tom Hanks and I’m a little sorry that I didn’t go that route.
I Miss You When I Blink by Mary Laura Philpott – A collection of essays that will have moms nodding, laughing and feeling understood.
Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes – This enjoyable romance balances some sadness with some good laughs and fun pop culture references.
Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher – The audio book read by Carrie Fisher herself came out a long time ago, but it was a great listen and full of timeless stories. While it made me miss Carrie Fisher tremendously, she had me in stitches and feeling thankful that my teen years did not include time in my mother’s cabaret show, as hers did.
I got them all from my local library, which I like to think helps balance out the cost of a pair of Rothy’s.
Time with Friends
The start of the academic year has been a bit more tumultuous than I had anticipated. Not all bad, but not easy, either. I’ve found that time with friends has truly been balm for my slightly battered soul.
Set up coffee, lunch, drinks, a chat by phone or Facetime as you fold laundry. Send a quick text. I know, it’s true that we are all super busy. Reach out anyway.
I’ve found that one-on-one time has been particularly great. Big groups are great, and if they energize you, that’s awesome. But if you’re feeling a bit discombobulated by the craziness your kid brings into your life, I’ve found that quieter is better and has led to exactly the kind of conversations that fill me up.
If you have friends who have kids a few years older, all the better. In fact, start with them. The reassurance and wisdom they offer can be invaluable.
Walks Outside
I’ve written several times about time is nature is great for our kids. Turns out, it’s great for adults, too. Fresh air, Vitamin D, and the fabulousness of fall can work wonders. On a walk today, I encountered a few deer, heard an owl gently hooting, marveled at the color of the leaves and came home in a much better place than when I had left.
I think getting a dog when you have a teenager is great because they will be happy to see you, as Nora Ephron said, but they’ll also motivate you to take more walks.
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Three ways to teach kids to find compassion and empathy behind the screen by Katie Hurley in The Washington Post
“Reading through posts and texts with them, however, can be powerful. I ask my teens to sit back to back with me and read their texts/posts to their friends out loud. Yes, I get some eye rolls and awkward laughter at first, but later, something positive happens. When they hand me the phone to read the conversations back to them, they hear their own words (and things said by their friends) in a real voice. They hear the hurt, the anger, the sadness or the jealousy. They feel the emotions differently.
When they read or write the words on a tiny screen, they can use emotional detachment to avoid experiencing the feelings attached to those words. But when we sit back to back, two humans reading texts and posts aloud, they absorb the emotions. When the words are negative, they struggle to read them out loud. But when the words are positive, teens soften a bit.”
The debate about screen time rages on, but it also seems safe to say that screens aren’t going anywhere, so let’s help kids learn how to be empathetic when using them. I love this approach and think the other tips in the article are valuable, too.
Adolescents Go Wild—And Not Just Humans by Barbara Natterson-Horowitz and Kathryn Bowers in The Wall Street Journal
“The risky behavior of teenagers has parallels in otters, gazelles, eagles and other animals, and helps them to survive as adults.”
This article was both comforting – hooray! We’re not alone! Other species do the same thing and there is some basic biology behind those often senseless choices teens make! – and concerning – Not all eagles survive learning how to do the mating spiral? No wonder I worry!
In addition to just being a fascinating read, this article offers parents some unique insight into what’s going on with their teens and encourages keeping the long run in perspective.
The Importance of Focusing on Teen Strengths on Center for Parent & Teen Communication
“A study examining conversations between parents and their teenage children found teenagers remember discussions about parental concerns more frequently than conversations about their strengths. This underscores the importance of parents talking consistently with teens about their positive attributes and making sure those discussions remain key as parental expectations change over time.”
Positivity matters. A lot.
How Can I Get My Teenager to Listen to Me? by Christine Carter on Greater Good Science Center
“You may have a mountain of information to impart, but research shows that less is more. Do not do what I often find myself doing in these situations: repeating myself. This can sound like nagging, and research shows that parental nagging activates anger-related regions in teenager’s brains, and it reduces activity in regions related to planning and behavior change.”
If you haven’t asked yourself this question repeatedly, are you even the parent of a teen? I kid, but I’m also serious about appreciating these helpful tips on communicating effectively with teens.
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]]>We’ve been to the 9/11 Memorial in New York City, where we listened to a recording about my husband’s beloved professor and family who were passengers on one of the planes. We have watched the video of the boat lift. We have listened to stories of those who were lost on that tragic day on StoryCorps’ September 11th Initiative.
I’ve tried to convey to her both the overwhelming grief and sadness and the incredible spirit of community and love that emerged in the following days.
And nothing I have said or done has come anywhere close to helping her understand that time like the musical Come From Away.
We saw it last month and I felt like finally, finally she had some comprehension of the impact of that day. It’s the story of the 38 airplanes that were in the air on that fateful morning and forced to land in Gander, Newfoundland. The town of 9,000 residents housed 7,000 travelers for several days until U.S. airspace reopened and the planes could leave.
The musical perfectly demonstrates the tragic loss and sense of being unmoored that so many felt on that day but also shines a light on how it brought people together and the good deeds that many did. If you are looking for the helpers, Gander is full of them. The shows speaks to how small acts of kindness and generosity can be incredibly meaningful, that friendships can form in unlikely places, and that we have more in common than we often realize.
You can see the trailer for the show here:
And this NPR Tiny Desk concert is great, too. You can see it, which gives an overview of the show, the characters and some of the songs here:
It also is about stories – that we often cannot know each other’s stories just by looking at each other and that taking the time to share and hear them is important. Stories also help us find that common ground and connect us. They are how we remember.
Come From Away resonated with each member of my family, including my teen. That’s because it’s about being human even more than it is a 9/11 story. It covers a great deal of ground – from identity to friendship to romance to prejudice to gender equality to religion to so much else. It’s proof of the power of music, food and humor to bring people together and bridge divides. It’s surprisingly funny and at the risk of being cliche, you really will laugh and cry.
I am so grateful that Come From Away helped my teen understand that day on a deeper level. I am also so grateful for the way it helps those who lived through the day heal and reminded us of the power of kindness and finding common ground with each other.
You can find the cast recording here.
If you can’t get to the show, the book The Day the World Came to Town: 9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland by Jim DeFede is an easy read that captures the story well.
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Author Michael Horn answers some questions about Choosing College, the extensive research that went into it and some ways that parents and kids can navigate the process in a more effective ways.
Between Us Parents (BUP): You’ve written a lot about education in the past – what prompted to you to write about choosing college? And why now?
Michael Horn (MH): Why people go to school–what their true causal set of reasons for attending–is something we’ve long wondered about, because if we knew the answer, then we could help students and parents make far better decisions and we could help schools design far better experiences.
We had the suspicion that categorizing the world of choices available to students by the type of school–Ivy League school, community college, state university, and so on–wasn’t the right way to view the world, but we really didn’t know the answer to our fundamental question. Finally a few years ago we received the funding at the Clayton Christensen Institute, a non-profit think tank, to do the fundamental research, and the results were revealing. The reasons students choose college were eye-popping, and their stories were incredibly compelling.
We realized there was a book to be written to help students, parents, and schools at a time when the stakes around college and the costs of making a mistake have never been higher.
BUP: You strongly urge students to understand why they are pursuing higher education, a key part of the process is often overlooked. Could you please explain how putting time into that first part of the process act as a game changer?
MH: In the course of our research we discovered that there are five primary reasons why students choose the school they attend. Students enroll to get into their best school, do what’s expected of them, get away, step it up, or extend themselves. Understanding which one of these best fits you is incredibly important because it completely changes what success looks like for you.
If a student is going to college to get away from their hometown, the criteria for their decision is dramatically different from someone who is seeking to improve their skill-set for a chosen profession. In the case of the former, for example, they should be looking for something that gets them away but doesn’t commit them to something that is costly and time-consuming when they don’t have a clear passion for the educational experience and journey itself.
By neglecting to ask why they are going, all too often students default to just using the traditional rankings to guide their decision.
But those rankings don’t use criteria built around what success looks like for an individual student–and you can only understand the answer to that question by starting with an answer to why you’re going in the first place.
That serious self-reflection is probably something missing from our society more generally, but here’s an opportunity to use it to improve your choices and decision-making process in concrete ways.
BUP: In Part II of the book, you help parents and students talk with each other and not past each other. How important is it to have that common terminology and language? Do you have any tips for how parents can communicate effectively with their kids about the college search?
MH: Every parent knows the feeling. You feel like you can see the larger picture, you have a sense for your child and what would be good for them, but your child has just tuned you out. You talk and they can’t believe how little you understand what they are feeling and what they are going through. They just don’t want to hear it.
The book will be really helpful to parents because it gives them the code for how their children are talking about and viewing the choices around college. We captured the real language of students across our more than 30,000 data points–and that language is remarkably similar from person to person who has roughly the same why for going.
Being able to have a common language is critical so two sides in any situation–not just parents and students–can stop talking past one another and frame a challenge in the same way to reach a decision–especially one that may be counterintuitive–on how to make progress.
The book is full of advice for parents, but one big thing I’d say is to remember that your job isn’t to solve your child’s problems or figure it out for her. That struggling moment your child is going through is the seed of innovation. Letting your child struggle can be a great thing because it offers a teachable moment. This can help your child figure out what to do, what tradeoffs she is willing to make, and what to prioritize to set her on a course for life success.
The real problem comes if you swoop in help your child avoid the struggle by reducing the friction before she has wrestled with the full dimension of it. Instead, the key is to coach her through it. Now, I’ll acknowledge that’s easier said than done–I’m constantly working on doing this right with my own children–but it’s an important starting point.
BUP: I love what you say about only applying to schools that the student would be excited to attend. How can parents help shift the perception of a “safety school” which may have a negative connotation to “a great option for me to which I am likely to be admitted”?
MH: And I love the way you’ve phrased this. It isn’t that you should only apply to your one dream school. It’s that you should figure out what is it about the schools that excite you that is drawing them to you–and how can you use that information to broaden the set of schools and experiences that would be the right fit for you at this time in your life.
Don’t just broaden your options–broaden your good options.
Options that are a crummy fit for you aren’t worth it because if you attend, there’s a high likelihood you’ll be unhappy at best and transfer or even drop out with a lot of debt that’s hard to pay back at worst.
I think the big idea is that we need to spend a lot more time broadening students’ options in line with what success looks like for them than we have traditionally and get out of the rat race mentality that there is a pecking order of schools that will somehow determine the rest of your life prospects.
BUP: Speaking of parents, if you could wave a magic wand and have parents stop doing 3 things, what would they be?
MH: 1) Don’t try to “solve” your child’s problems.
2) Don’t put more pressure on your children to get into the “best” school they can. There is already enough pressure, and there are more pathways to success than just through a few brand-name schools.
3) Don’t force your child to go to college right away if they aren’t excited about it or they aren’t ready for the experience.
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Prior Post: The first of the lasts
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She always asks me to do it in my Grover voice, and I do, and she laughs that same little giggle that hasn’t really changed all that much over the years.
This evening, the night before she starts her senior year of high school, she brought it to me to read to her one final time.
It was the first of the lasts that will mark her final year of high school.
I was afraid I wouldn’t make it through the book. Not only is this the start of senior year, but today was her birthday. Talk about a double emotional whammy.
I’ve been known to choke up reading about Grover’s journey of self-acceptance, authenticity, confidence and friendship on school year’s eve during “normal” years. (Note: It’s hard to fight back tears and still sound somewhat like the furry blue monster.)
But, much to my surprise, I made it through the book this year without completely dissolving, which I couldn’t rule out at the start. In fact, I didn’t even choke up. I’m hoping that I can keep doing that.
I want her senior year to be one full of excitement (and education, of course) and I don’t want to get bogged down in everything being “the last,” said as if there’s some narrator with an ominous voice announcing just off stage that the clock is ticking and you won’t get another moment like this one.
But I do know that our time living under the same roof in the same way that we have been for a long while now is limited.
So, I’m going to get used to having that lump in my throat. I will become even more intimately familiar than I already am with the challenging duality of bittersweet feelings and moments.
I have promised myself to keep in mind the gratitude I have for the fact that I get to experience it all. I’m going to hug my girl more than she’d like. I may be proud of myself for making it through the book without crying, but that’s nothing compared to the pride I feel when watching my girl be the best version of herself that she can be.
I’m going to do all I can to make the most of her senior year, my last year with her at home.
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Prior Post: 3 tips for making the most of Maui with teens
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]]>The two different trips have illustrated some important points about traveling to Maui with teens.
You cannot do it all, but what you can do is amazing
From ATV tours to zip lining, there is a lot to do on Maui.
I tend to try to pack as much as I can into a trip, and had really lofty goals when we selected Maui as our vacation destination. The list of things to do was long, and the cost was rather, well, over the budget.
A quick pre-departure family meeting took care of those problems. My teen was happy hanging on the beach, and that was easy to afford – all beaches in Maui are public.
We did stand up paddle boarding, my neighbors went fishing. They visited the lavender farm, we watched the sunset cliff diving ceremony. We watched sunset from the beach, they viewed it from the top of Mt. Haleakala.
One way to keep thing economical is to take full advantage of where you’re staying. There are gorgeous gardens and lush grounds all over the island. Also, remember that kids (yes, even teens) really love pool time. And pools in Maui are pretty fabulous, like this one where we stayed.
Speaking of where we stayed . . .
Having a good home base is important
Teens are famous for sleeping in, taking their time in the bathroom and needing some space. There are grains of truth to each of those stereotypes, and that’s why it can be a good idea to consider accommodations that offer everyone enough room. It’s a truth that sometimes more space allows families to be closer. (And at least limit some of the sibling disputes.)
We found that renting a condo at the Kaanapali Alii was a good option. Separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms were awesome.
There’s also something to be said for a place to enjoy breakfast while still in your jammies and your teen is sleeping in.
Eat in
Teens eat. A lot. That can get really expensive, really quickly, especially in Hawaii where food is not cheap.
Having a kitchen in your home base is one way to make a trip to Maui more affordable.
It’s another reason to consider a rental over a hotel, and to see what options are available to you once you get there. I was surprised that many of the beachfront properties in Lahaina, including the Kaanpali Alii where we were, had grills available for guests. There’s something pretty great about cooking out with a view of the ocean.
My neighbors have a great teen fishermen and they shared images of grilling his catch of the day for dinner. It looked amazing. We are not that awesome, but our food was thanks to the help of the grill master on staff.
There’s an added bonus to dining in with older kids. I’ve found that my teen is a bit more herself, and a lot more likely to be silly or funny or vulnerable, when we’re not in a restaurant. We definitely enjoy eating out, don’t get me wrong, but some of the best times of connection come in spaces that are a bit less public, including on vacation.
Whatever you do, soak up the sun and the time with your teen.
Disclosure: We were hosted for two nights at the Kaanapali Alii.
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